Win Back Your Family

 Pastor Charles talks to MEN : 

WIN BACK YOUR FAMILY 

 

 

God bless you as you tune in this day to your weekly tonic on your favorite station, the program is still Love Talk with Pastor Charles

The program that brings you knowledge and wisdom on relationships….

My name is charles Ikoabasi, lead pastor of Livingword Family Church

We are located in Ibeju Lekki off Lekki Epe expressway through  Elesekan

 

Father’s Day tomorrow and I think it is a good time to talk to our Men, Fathers and Husbands.

And to the women that love our men.

It is the week to appreciate the Fathers and Husbands, the Fathers-to-be and the other significant men in our lives.

I actually believe that the men in our lives are under-appreciated, Men do so much but what they do are not always noticed by children, because in many instances, fathers are not hands-on with children and family.

Often there is an intimacy-gap and  involvement-gap between some fathers and their children.

They are doing plenty but mama alone takes credit.

Daddy brings the money, mummy pays school fees and attends PTA meetings.

Daddy buys clothes, mama dresses the children.

Daddy brings money for food, mummy cooks and feeds everybody,

When children sin daddy beats and reprimand but mummy pets after and tells dad he was too hard. Even when mummy beats, the children have a mindset that mom loves.

That’s why many songs have been written for mothers but I have heard only one in my lifetime for fathers.

Often papa dies before mama probably because of stress or regrets that no one sympathizes with.

In some cases, mothers even go all out to discredit dad before children. As a counsellor I have seen that happen over and over again.  Women, that is wrong. Your children need to have a healthy perspective and impression about dad for them to obey him, adore him and subsequently turn out well

Even if you are the one paying rent and school fees because your man is currently broke and jobless, you don’t have to announce it before the children, if you do that, you are inadvertently creating a faulty  foundation of disrespect for your daughters to follow in their marriage and you are not doing your boys good either. A boy needs a role model father, don’t spoil your man before him. Your girls need to learn to respect their men, be an example to them.  You would not like how your daughter's marriage will turn out if your keep slandering your husband to her.

Are our men perfect? Certainly not! You guys can quarrel privately, you can tell your man he is under performing privately but public abuse? It’s a no no.  

 

 

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Are our men perfect, no certainly not. There are many complaints from the women folk about Fathers and husbands. Top on the list are:

Unfaithfulness: This is one of the reasons men are lonely in old age: mom and kids team up to pay daddy back for cheating on mom when he was younger, Men learn.

Financial Irresponsibility: men are increasingly becoming jobless and under-employed and some are not doing anything much to get out of poverty and to provide for their families: so we see women increasingly taking over the job of feeding the family and picking up bills, I know some men whose wives even have to pay for little things like a haircut. It becomes difficult for your woman to respect you if that be the case. How will she even give you sex when she is working herself sore to feed you and your children?  

Lack friendship: Daddy is not always around to bond with mom and the children. Some spend their free time in clubs and joints - so men,  don’t complain if your children love and move closer to mom than they are to you . 

Daddies, create time to make friends with your children from babyhood

As a dad to children above 20 I know how hard it could be to bond with adolescent and adult children. If you are not friends when they are not yet 16, how will you be friends when they are in young adulthood ?

Not helping at home: 

Many women raise their boys to be lazy, not working at home, so they grow up leaving all the work to their women, this could lead to stress and ill-health for the wife and could result in reducing love and building anger in the home.

Generally, Men let’s do some more to take up our leadership and love roles at home.

Believe me no love is sweeter than the love of your family, win back your family, men, 

• Drop that side-chick and mistress, she is killing your future.
• Get a real job not just being busy on the phone all day.
• Help your wife at home with chores 
• Create time for your wife and children play with them 
• Attend PTA meetings, 
• Be involved in the education, do their homework , 
• Feed the baby sometimes, 
• Bond with your girls, take them out
• Play football with your boys, or join them to watch Arsenal and Chelsea

The input of dad and mum are needed for children to bake well and cook well in character.

So during the week I went around and asked some women, married and unmarried, what they think real men should be

They all said about the same things. Things like he should be a God-fearer and a doer of the Word.

Some said a real man should be loving, truthful, able to work and provide, Protect, be a Friend, build intimacy and companionship.

Well I am just giving you a feedback on what the women said. I want to hear songs being written for men too. Men have to do more than women to have win the kind of appreciation that women get.

Children and wives, as we celebrate Fathers’ day, do something for Hubby and Dad, Make him feel loved, woo him back home, he may not have money but know that he doesn’t enjoy it.

Don’t abandon him in his distress, love and encourage him.                                           

Time flies on this program.

Send me a message on 08117777756

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My name is Charles Ikoabasi. Join me on Top Radio 90.9FM , every Saturday by 6:30pm.